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27/03/2010
Issue 15

Jens "Can't touch this" team

3 valley rally report
You can tell the 3 Valley Rally event is nearby when the competitive ones try desperately to eek any information about where the checkpoints are. For the first time the former Jump team were absent, choosing to work on a checkpoint instead. Reigning triple champion Jen looking to make it 4 in a row and Louis’s doubletap team looking to end the dream.
Checkpoint 1
After collecting their egg (nearly) everyone worked out the piste map with no names and headed off to in the direction of 1650 to meet Jimbo and Phil half way down Chapalets where they were subject to a whiskey rum layback and either a boy/girl salopette swapping or a boy/girl wheelbarrow race up the slope followed by a forward roll back down again.
Checkpoint 2
To find the second checkpoint required a modicum of French to translate the words “Soft Madness” into the Folie Douce in Val Thorens. There they were offered a drink of orange vodka, only to find it was actually chilli tequila. One of the girls was also relieved of her bra, which were luckily reunited with their owners after the prize giving.
Checkpoint 3
Positioned at the bottom of the Jerusalem slope in St Martin de Belleville I spent most of the day sitting in the sun and drinking. After having a sip of Chartreuse the team were tied at the knee to make a 5 legged race, through some soft off piste. From the general shouts of pain as the cable bit into their knees it was clear that some teams were less co-ordinated than others. Before they could leave they have to make a human pyramid.
Lost in St Martin
As each team came through the question was raised “Where is Will Gill’s team?”. Considering they were near the front of the field at checkpoint 2 their apparent absence was noted. Eventually I phoned Will to find he had skied passed the checkpoint and was taking the chairlift back over to Meribel. By the time they had skied back to the checkpoint (again) you could see the look of dejection and exhaustion in all their eyes. Next time don’t let Jen(Physio) read the clue.
Checkpoint 4
The “cripple” checkpoint, hosted by Emma and Lucy, had competitors removing one sock, exposing themselves again and passing the sock through their pants. To put things indelicately in certain cases C-L-U-N-G-E was on display.
Finish
Once again, from start to finish, Jen dominated the race finishing with a cool 15-minute gap before Louis’ Double tap team. Subsequently the 3 Valley Rally trophy will now be renamed as the Jennifer Claire commemorative good sportman trophy Despite finishing fourth the Fairy cakes were demoted to sixth after 3/4 of the team missed the first checkpoint.
A big thanks to Jimbo, Phil, Ryan(Snowlinx), Oscar (Powderwhite), Marc, Eliza, India, Lucy(Jump) and Emma for manning the checkpoints. A big thanks to the Refuge bar for hosting the prize giving.

The editor

Alpine Excess t-shirts

After running out of brand names that begin with C and sharing roughly the same length as Courchevel I have transmogrified a certain credit card logo. These can now be purchased directly from the online store on the web site and would make an ideal present.

Please note item shipped from France will take 3-5 days to arrive in UK. (if the uk post office is not on strike)