Groundhog day

For those of you who are not film buffs. I am referring not to the festival where a large rat foretells the early coming of winter instead to the film of the same name, where Bill Murray relives the same day over and over again.
For ten days at the end of October I suffered a similar experience at the ski show. Positioned on a stand directly in front of the main ski slope I was subject to the same music, the same banter from the announcer, the same questions from the customers and finally the same tricks from the skiers. Whereas Mr Murrey was woken by the sounds of Sonny and Cher's classic 'I got you babe' my day started with the Jam's 'going underground' followed by a crystal advert asking 'Hey You- Yes you! Could win a holiday for the rest of your life'. Such was its repetition that a week after the show has finished and it still rings in my head. No sentient being should be exposed to such cruelty without a health warning firmly displayed. Then came the announcer who wouldn't know what ad-lib meant if it came along and bit him on the arse. Clocks could be accurately set on hearing phrases such as '300 tons of snow' 'biggest hip jump ever built indoors' 'thanks to fat face' 'give them a big round of applause'.
Anyone who has seen the film 'A Clockwork Orange' will know Andy McDowell is subjected to the Ludovico treatment, eyelids forcefully held open being brainwashed. Such is the power of the brainwashing technique that he feels nauseous every time anyone mentions violence and whenever he hears the music of Beethoven. Likewise I start to feel a little queasy when I hear any of the ski show limited repertoire. Again prisoners with electrodes attached to their genitals have an easier time.
Then came the customers, who would come out with such lines as 'I'm looking for a pair of goggles' regardless of the fact that I'm standing in front of 500 pairs of the bloody things. Don't get me wrong, given the choice of what to sell I am would rather sell eyewear than convincing someone that their arse don't look big in that flourecent one-piece. The problem comes when customers have no idea what they want. This then involves giving the customer too much choice, which then means the customer has to make a decision (big mistake). A typical example involves a gentleman who arrived at the stand and after 30 minutes my fake smile was wearing very thin. After filtering out the initial selection the decision of whether the blue or red pair was the one for him. As we only had one pair of each colour left this required heavy analysis. With one colour in each hand he then preceded to look through each (which was strange as they where the same model with the same lenses). After 15 minutes of an almost clockwork left hand up, right hand down, blue-red debate he was joined by his friends who when given the choice went for the red choice. Obviously they weren't very good friends as their advice wasn't heeded. Girlfriend then arrived to give the same red advice but for the second time it fell on deaf ears. After a further 10 minutes he decided to 'think about it' and went to look at snowboards. Two minutes after his back was turned another customer whose decision making processes were a lot simpler tried on the red goggles and promptly purchased them. 5 minutes later Mr blue-red returned to buy the red ones only to be told that he would have to make do with the blue ones. Which he didÖ Death would be too good them.