The return of the mono

I guess this cross country voyage started in an inauspicious way. Half of team mono were, to use a Philius fogg-ism 'Passepartout*-less'. After many calls to various non-mono orientated government depaRTMents a compromised was reached and the trip to the euro tunnel began(1). After parking the classically mono escort van on the train the short crossing was made even more succinct by the monkey thong on the bonnet poses(2). In the true mono-voyeur tradition the family packed cars that sandwiched the mono-mobile in got more than there moneys worth. You can just imagine ìDaddy, why is that man....?î. Expect to see them make an appearance on a typical channel five 'when CCTV attacks' program courtesy of a well placed security camera.
(3)As they descended through the French countryside en route to Chamonix, the spiritual home of the mono, frequent stops to check tire pressures and perform general bending over actions were needed every 45 minutes(4). As the temperature dropped and the snow coverage increased the clothes comes out and so did the skim board(5). Once in Cham (6) the team was brought up to max potency with the addition on two more members. Boards in the van it was off to Courchevel via Geneva. As they reached their destination Team mono was at full strength. (7) Joe the rookie (1/2 Austrian), Mono Mike (Essex), Jib-master Hamish (Norway), Dances with mono Dave(England), Euroboy Ryco (Finland).
While most people were still recovering from the new years excesses, team mono were out in force in the board park showing such moves as 180s, 270 to face plant(failed 360), 10ft backscratcher, boardslide to fakie.
Mono transcends nationality, race or creed. An example: Wear north face and a some parabolic planks and your 'roastbeef'. Change into a one-piece and a monoboard and the xenophobia disappears, people stop and cheer, respect is given and doors are held opened for you.
Now doing mono doesn't just require a fluorescent 215 Niedecker. A classic example was a recent Natives winner who decided the most appropriate place for his board was the balcony. Now that's like leaving your Ferrari in the garage. It might look good but you're missing the point. Anyway when it's in the garage someone can easily 'liberate' it. Part of the mono experience includes taking the board to the mountain and that Niedecker was well and truly ridden hard.
*Translation - Pass throughout